Secretary job posting

As you may or may not know, I fired my secretary late last year and have been trying to take on all my blogging duties myself since then. It hasn't been easy for me and it also takes my time away from the high-level strategic decisions of running of a blog.

So, I have decided to put out a job posting for a new secretary. Do you know anyone who might be qualified? I plan to start interviewing folks in a couple of weeks.

Responsibilities
- Open mail and send bearthday greetings in a timely manner

- Assist with my bathing and drying

- Maintain a stylish and fashion-forward wardrobe, in addition to cleaning and tailoring of clothing

- Demonstrate initiative by ensuring an ample supply of honey and salmon at all times

- Buy and prepare delicious snacks, not limited to cookies and hot chocolate

- Keep up-to-date on fellow stuffie blogs

- Troubleshoot website issues as needed

- Knowledge of WordPress, Blogger, HTML, CSS, and Photoshop

- Promote blog posts on social media, including Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

- Generate ideas for contests and mail contest prizes

- Serve as copy editor for blog

- Personal bodyguard while on travel adventures

- Experienced photographer with proficiency in photo editing and enhancement

- Assist with Stuffie Tours activities as necessary

- Assist with other special projects as needed

- Give lots of hugs

Salary

- Commensurate with experience

Fan art

My friend Helen drew this picture of me! It's me in my Steve Jobs Halloween costume. I think it's terrific! What do you think? Thank you Helen!