Monday, August 19, 2019

Star Trek: Phaser Testing

Captain's log, stardate 41254.7.3.298.38.11.00.33.something something.

Our ship, the USS Enterprise, is responding to a distress signal by an unknown vessel located in the outer edge of the Romulan Empire near Vadris III. If we were going warp speed, we would get there fairly quickly, but since Daaataaaa is at the helm, we are traveling at 5 miles per hour.

But like any good captain would do, I have decided to test our weapon systems in the meantime, in the event we encounter enemy fire.


It's time to test our phasers!


I haven't fired a shot with one of these things since I graduated from the Starfleet Academy. I'm sure I'll remember how to ---


KABOOM!



"Captain! Captain, are you alright?" It was Lieutenant Commander Tibbs, Chief of Security.

"Whoa... I think... THAT WAS AWESOME!!" I exclaimed.


"These phasers pack a punch! Look at that!"


"But perhaps just a little less firepower, Lieutenant?"

"Yes Captain!"

This is Captain Jean-Lox Bearcard signing off!



8 comments:

  1. Wow! A phaser that only burns through paper! That's impressive! :D

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    Replies
    1. It's a high tech phaser, selective destruction

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    2. Actually, that's not paper! It's an extremely durable space age liquid plasma quantum black hole pulp that just looks like paper!

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  2. Yeah! Someone would not have been happy if it went through actual walls

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  3. Great episode! Where do we sign up?

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    Replies
    1. The Starfleet Academy is always accepting applications from brave stuffie recruits who want to BOLDLY GO WHERE NO STUFFIE HAS GONE BEFORE!

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  4. I didn't know that you Starfleet academy was taking applications. Do they take the SAT or ACT for their admission assessment?

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  5. Huh, would all stuffies get such cool uniforms?? And get to play with... I mean... wield... powerful phasers?

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