STAR TREK: The Borg, Part 2

Continued from here...

"WE ARE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."

I turned to my crew.

"Number One, commence battle strategy operations for -- " I began to say.

"Captain, look! Something is happening!" said Geordi La Fish.

One of the Borg transported itself onto our ship!

"WOOF!"

"Theeere'sssss anooother ooooneeeee," said Daaataaaa. "Stooooooop theeeeeem..."

But it was too late. In a split second, both of the Borg had grabbed hold of me and transported me off the USS Enterprise...

.... and onto their ship to meet the Borg Collective!

"CAPTAIN JEAN-LOX BEARCARD, YOU LEAD THE STRONGEST SHIP OF THE FEDERATION FLEET. YOU SPEAK FOR YOUR STUFFIES."

"I have nothing to say to you. And I will resist you with my last ounce of strength!" I said.

"STRENGTH IS IRRELEVANT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. WE WISH TO IMPROVE OURSELVES. WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR CULTURE WILL ADAPT TO SERVE OUR OWN."

"Impossible. My culture is based on freedom and self-determination!"

"FREEDOM IS IRRELEVANT. SELF-DETERMINATION IS IRRELEVANT. WE WILL MAKE YOU WEAR PANTS."

"Okay, now you've got to be kidding me! I don't think so!" I retorted.

"RESISTANCE IS -- "

"Oh hey! A Rubik's Cube! I love Rubik's Cubes..."

"...FUTILE. YOU MUST COMPLY. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED."

"Hang on a second, let me finish this first," I said.

"IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY, YOU WILL BE DESTROYED. ARE YOU LISTENING?"

"Okay, yeah just hold on a moment... I've almost got this..."

"THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE. YOU WILL BE ADDED TO THE BORG COLLECTIVE --"

"A-ha! I got it!"

Then something very strange happened on the Borg ship. The Borg units all appeared to lie down.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked. They seemed to be taking a nap.

boop beep

"Captain, this is Commander Tibbs. Our radars have detected unusual energy fluctuations from within the Borg ship. It appears that the entire Borg ship is in a passive regenerative mode. Their force fields are down."

"Interesting! It seems that solving the Borg Rubik's Cube activated this sleep mode," I said.

"I beg your pardon, Sir?"

"I can explain later. Beam me up, Scotty!" I said.

A moment later, I was transported to the bridge.

"Welcome back Captain!" my crew greeted me.

"Captain, are you alright?" asked Counselor Tweet.

"Yes, I am fine!" I said. "It was fascinating to encounter the Borg life form. We will continue our mission to explore new worlds and to bravely go where no stuffie has gone before!"

Don't miss the next episode of

STAR TREK!