ELECTION 2016 RESULTS!!!

 BREAKING NEWS!!!

After a long and thorough process, election officer Ooogie is about to finish the final ballot count from the 2016 Presidential Election. In case you forgot, I ran for President with my running mate Parker.

"Hi Ooogie! Do you have any updates?" I asked.

"Yessssss," he said. "It issss aaaaa tieee soooo faaaar buuuut heeeere issss theeee laaaast aaaand fiiiinal ballooooot thaaat wiiiill deeetermine theeee wiiiiiinner."

"Woof!"

"Oh wow!" I exclaimed. "This is a very exciting moment!"

He opened the ballot.

"Aaaand theeee wiiiinner isssss.... aaaaah.... aaaaaah..."

"Aaaaaahh what?" I asked. "Aaaaaahhh who?"

"AAACHOOOOOO!"

He sneezed, scattering several of the ballots all over.

"Whoooooops."

"Oh no."

"Woof."

"Wheeeere diiiiid it gooo?" he asked.

"I thought I saw it go over there, or maybe it was over here," I said.

"Woof?"

"Doooon't worryyyy," he said. "It'sssss okayyy."

"Wait, what... what do you mean?" I said.

"I'll juuuust staaaart oveeeeer countiiiing aaaaagain," he said. "I doooon't miiiiind."

"..."

"Oneeeee... twoooo... threeeee..."

I. Can't. Believe It.

We were so close to finding out who won.

I guess we'll just have to keep on waiting for the results. In the meantime, I think I deserve a nice snack from all this excitement!

Election results UPDATE!

As you might know, I ran for President in 2016 with my trusty friend Parker as my running mate.

We ran a strong campaign and got many stuffie voters to the polls. Ooogie is the election official and has been thoroughly counting all of the votes. Let's check in and see if he's done counting yet.

"Oneeeeee huuuundreeeeed thirrrrtyyyyy seeeeeeeeen milllllion niiiinnnee hunddddreeeeed nineeeetyyy ninneeeee thoussssanddd, nineeeee hundreeeeed aaaaaand nineeeeeety nineeeeee..."

"Hey Ooogie, what's up?"

"Hiiiii Ajdiiiiiin."

"How's the ballot counting going? Are you almost done yet?" I asked.

"It'ssss goinggggg weeeell. I juuuuusttt haaaaaveeeee oneeeeee mooooreeeee tooo gooooo..."

"Oh great! I have been eagerly waiting for the results for a long time!" I said.

"Nooooow wheeeere wassss I," he continued.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I seemeeeed tooo haaaavee looosst counnnttttt," Ooogie replied.

"Oh, I didn't mean to distract you!"

"I guesssss I haaaave tooooo staaaartt oveeeeer..."

"..."

"Oneeeeeee... twoooooooo... threeeeeee..."

I can't believe it! We were *this* close to learning the final results. It's going to be another few years I guess.

Election Results

So it's been almost a week since the election. Some of you might be wondering why I haven't given my concession speech yet. Well, the reason is because I believe that every vote counts. And the last time I checked, the votes are still being counted!

Let's check in with our election official, Ooogie.

"Twoooo miiillllioooon, threeeee huuundreeed fooorty seeveeeeen thouuusaaaand, niiinne huundreeed fiffffty oooone...."

"Hey Ooogie! How's it going?"

"Hiiii Ajjddiiiin."

"Do you need any help counting the ballots?" I asked. I picked up a ballot.

"Nooooo.... youuu'reee noooot alllooowedd to tooouucccch theeeem.... thaaaat's eleeeectiion taaampeeerringgg..."

"Oh whoops!" I said.

"Ooohhh nooooo," said Ooogie. "I looooost cooount."

"..."

"I haaaave toooo staaaartt ovvvver...."

"..."

"Onnnnneeeee.... twwwoooooooo.... threeeeee..."

Well, at this rate, it looks like it will take about 4 years to count all the votes! In the meantime, I'm going to have a snack!

ELECTION DAY 2016

Hey everyone, I'm standing here in line to vote - this is a big election! Did you vote yet?

Remember to vote for me for President and my dog Parker for Vice President! And it looks like Ooogie is working the polls to make sure there is no funny business with voter fraud.

"Ooogie, is there a machine to count the ballots?" I asked.

"Nooooooo," he replied. "I'mmmmm gooooinggg toooo couuunnnnt theeeeem mannuuuallllyyy."

"Manually?"

Hmm, this could take a while! I'm going to relax and have a snack while I wait for the results...

Announcement

"What's going on?" asked Miss Feathers.

"Woof?"

"Alright, I'm here," said Uncle Tibbs. "Does anyone know what this is all about?"

"Ajdin told us to be here for a special announcement. That Ajdin is always up to something!" said Miss Feathers.

"Sooooorryyyyy I'mmmmm laaaaateee," said Ooogie.

"No problem, we haven't started yet," said Uncle Tibbs.

"Look!  Here he comes now!"

I cleared my throat as I approached the podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, stuffies and non-stuffies," I began. "Without a doubt, this has been a rather unusual election year. The net has been cast far and wide on both sides for presidential candidates. We have seen many political figures throw their honey jar in the race over the past year. Some of them have included:

Donald TUNA -- HONEY Rodham Clinton -- BEARnie Sanders -- Carly FISHrina -- Mike HuckaBEE -- TEDDY Cruz -- MACKEREL Rubio -- BEAR Carson -- CARP Christie -- SALMON Walker... among many others."

"Is he doing what I think he's doing?" whispered Uncle Tibbs.

"However, I believe that none of these candidates truly represent the interests of us stuffies. That is why I have decided to seek the office of the Presidency of the United States. I hope I will earn your vote as the nominee for the Stuffie Party."

The room erupted into thundering applause.

But there was a heckler in the crowd.

"YOU CAN'T RUN FOR PRESIDENT! YOU WEREN'T BORN HERE! WHERE'S YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"

I could feel my political career quickly come to a screeching halt, but then I remembered a legal loophole.

"The Stuffie Constitution, Article 2, Clause 5B states that any stuffie may run for President of the United States."

The crowd cheered!  I continued with my speech.

"In recent years, we have seen honey and salmon prices increase, but wages have failed to keep pace. If I am President, all stuffies will have free honey and free salmon!"

The same heckler yelled out again.

"WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR IT?"

I paused.

"Umm... uh... umm..."

The crowd began to murmur. I could feel beads of sweat forming above my brow. Finally, I thought of a solution.

"... the humans will pay for it!"

The crowd cheered again!

VOTE FOR AJDIN ADILOVIC

FOR A SWEETER FUTURE