Secretary interviews

As you probably know by now, I fired my secretary and then posted a job opening for a new one. After sorting through hundreds of applications, I have finally narrowed it down to a few dozen candidates. Today, I'm bringing them in for interviews. Finally! I hope to find someone really good.

Here's our first candidate.

"So you'll be helping out a lot with my blog..."

Candidate #1: "What's a blog?"

"Uhhh... NEXT!"

Okay, we are just warming up here. I'm not sure how that candidate made it through the initial screening. Let's move on.

"Tell me about a weakness you have."

Candidate #2: "Well, I can be very ANGRY, and very UNORGANIZED, and sometimes I do SLOPPY work, and I've been told that I am also RUDE, and I'm usually LATE for everything. And sometimes I JUST DON'T CARE AT ALL."

"Okay, thank you! NEXT!"

At least that last candidate was beary honest about his weaknesses.

Let's move on to candidate #3.

"Are you comfortable working on a Mac computer?"

Candidate #3: "I only use typewriters."

"NEXT!"

"If I gave you a task with little or no instructions, what would you do?"

Candidate #4: "I would -- RING -- oh hold on a second." (answers cell phone) "HEY DUDE, WHAT'S UP? Hahaha, that's awesome, cool to hear that? Me, oh nothing, I'm just at an interview right now --"

"NEXT!"

"What's your opinion on pants?"

Candidate #5: "I LOVE PANTS!"

"NEXT!"

"This job needs someone who can communicate well."

Candidate #6: "SQUAWK!"

"NEXT!"

"My secretary needs to be well versed in Facebook and Instagram."

Candidate #7: "What's Facebook? What's Instagram?"

"NEXT!"

"You seem like the perfect candidate. What is your expected salary?"

Candidate #8: "One million dollars."

"NEXT!"

"Woof!"

"Parker, what do you mean that's it? That was everyone? There are no candidates left?"

"Woof!"

"Maybe my last secretary wasn't so bad after all!"

It's hard finding good help, isn't it?

Bear soaks in hot tub

This bear's got the right idea!

https://www.thedodo.com/in-the-wild/bear-soaks-in-hot-tub

Tiny Teddy cookies

Recently, my mom gave me a package of Tiny Teddy cookies. Apparently these are snacks popular in Australia and are similar to Teddy Graham crackers that I'm used to here in the United States. Let's open it up and see what it looks like.

This bear is holding his nose because he was stung by a bee -- ouch!

What's your favorite cookie or cracker snack?

Election results UPDATE!

As you might know, I ran for President in 2016 with my trusty friend Parker as my running mate.

We ran a strong campaign and got many stuffie voters to the polls. Ooogie is the election official and has been thoroughly counting all of the votes. Let's check in and see if he's done counting yet.

"Oneeeeee huuuundreeeeed thirrrrtyyyyy seeeeeeeeen milllllion niiiinnnee hunddddreeeeed nineeeetyyy ninneeeee thoussssanddd, nineeeee hundreeeeed aaaaaand nineeeeeety nineeeeee..."

"Hey Ooogie, what's up?"

"Hiiiii Ajdiiiiiin."

"How's the ballot counting going? Are you almost done yet?" I asked.

"It'ssss goinggggg weeeell. I juuuuusttt haaaaaveeeee oneeeeee mooooreeeee tooo gooooo..."

"Oh great! I have been eagerly waiting for the results for a long time!" I said.

"Nooooow wheeeere wassss I," he continued.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I seemeeeed tooo haaaavee looosst counnnttttt," Ooogie replied.

"Oh, I didn't mean to distract you!"

"I guesssss I haaaave tooooo staaaartt oveeeeer..."

"..."

"Oneeeeeee... twoooooooo... threeeeeee..."

I can't believe it! We were *this* close to learning the final results. It's going to be another few years I guess.

Drive-thru part 2

CONTINUED FROM HERE

"Heeeellooooooo aaaaaand weeeeeelcome toooooo McDoooonald's," said a familiar voice.

Huh? Wait a second... I know that voice!

"Ooogie? Is that you?" I asked.

"Yesssssssssssss," he replied through the intercom.

"Oh, I didn't know you worked here! Okay, I'll have a Filet-O-Fish sandwich -- make that two sandwiches -- a large french fry, and a large vanilla milkshake."

"Okayyyyyyy. Soooooo thaaaaaaat's twoooooooo Fiiiiilet-Ooooooo-Fiiiiish saaandwichessssss, a laaaaaaarge freeeeeeench fryyyyyyyyyyyyyy, aaaaaaaand a laaaaaarge vaaaaaanillaaaaaaaaaa miiiiiiiilkshaaaaaaaake. Wiiiiiiill thaaaaaaat beeeeeee allll?"

"Yes, that's it, and you don't have to tell me the total. I'll just pull up --"

"Yoooooooooourrrrrr tooooooootal isssssssssss niiiiiine dollaaaaarrssssssss and fooooourteeeeeeeeen ceeeeeeeentsssssss. Pleeeeeeeeeaaasssssseeeeee puuuuuuull uuuuuuup toooooo theeeeeee neeeeext wiiiiiiiindooooooow. Thaaaaaaaaaank youuuuuuuu."

You know, I have to say that Ooogie is one of the hardest working stuffies that I know. He has several jobs, including driving instructor, DMV clerk, and election official. He is super talented... even though he might be a little slow. He is always trying new things and I really respect that!

I pulled up to the next window. Then I waited another 30 minutes.

"Hi Ooogie!"

"Hiiiiii Ajdiiiiiin."

"Heeeeeeere issssss yourrrrrrr oooooorder."

I looked in the bag. Yes, 2 Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, steaming hot fries, and a cold shake. Perfect!

"Alright, well I guess I'll see you at home, Ooogie," I said.

"Thaaaaaaaanksssss foooor coooooominggggg toooo McDooooonald'sssssss, Ajjjjjdin. Annnnnnd reeeemeeeeembeeeeer to driiiiiiive careeeeeefullllyyyyy."

"Thanks, I will!" After all, Ooogie did teach me how to drive slowly.

Add caption

Drive-thru

Hey there! Guess where I am right now? I was really craving a Filet-O-Fish sandwich so I hopped in my car and now I'm on line at...

...McDonald's! Ah yes, a nice Filet-O-Fish sandwich and french fries and a milkshake sound really good right now.

But the only problem is that I've been waiting a reallyyyyy loooong time!

Isn't this supposed to be fast food? I am running out of patience.

I think I'll take a nap in my car while I'm waiting for someone to take my order.

After what seemed like 30 minutes later, someone finally came through the speaker.

"Heeeellooooooo aaaaaand weeeeeelcome toooooo McDoooonald's," said a familiar voice.

Huh? Wait a second... I know that voice!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Stuffie Spotlight: Droopy W. Dog

My friend Droopy is in the Stuffie Spotlight! Check out his fascinating interview below!

1)  What is your name and where do you live?

My name is Droopy W. Dog.  Everyone always wonders what the "W" stands for.  I've tried to keep it a secret, but my human inadvertently released a photo a few years ago and gave the whole thing away.  Tsk...good help is so hard to find...

I currently live in the great state of Texas.  Before that, my human and I lived in New Jersey for a very long time and had to deal with northeastern winters.  We miss looking at the snow, but we don't miss shoveling it!

2)  Tell us about how you got started blogging/writing.

Actually, I was inspired after reading the blog of a certain little brown bear from Bosnia  :)  I thought blogging would be a good way for me to connect with other stuffies.  Since I've started blogging, I've become friends with Ajdin, Little Fox, Sandy Bear, Jerry and Ben, Beanie Mouse, and several others.  We sometimes exchange gifts and cards in the mail, to the point where I now receive more Christmas cards than my human.

The blog has also helped me convince my human to bring me along for trips and special outings, because of the ongoing need for content!

  

3)  What other pursuits do you have?

Amateur crimefighting, psychotherapy, and stand-up comedy (more details can be found on my blog page).  You will sometimes find me serving as a model for my human's art projects.  I am also a passionate meatatarian (see next question).  

4)  What is your favorite food and favorite thing to do?

Those familiar with my blog will know that my #1 favorite food is bacon.  However, I love most meat-based products.  My human and I visited a beef jerky outlet some time ago, and it was hard to get me to leave.... 

My favorite activities are traveling, watching movies, or just hanging out with the other members of my pack--Patch, Spunky, and Grandpa Angus!

Thanks Droopy for the great interview! Will YOU be next in the Stuffie Spotlight? Stay tuned!